BY WOODY ALLEN
Photography by Larry Shaw AND Terry O'Neill
Last winter, producer Charles K. Feldman approached me to appear in his new James Bond extravaganza. Casino Royale—not, as I had expected, as James Bond, but as his nephew, Little Jimmy Bond, who eventually is unmasked as the evil Dr. Noah. We dickered for a few days, until I asked him if there were going to be any girls in the picture. He started listing them, and three hours later I interrupted to accept his original cash offer of three dollars. Armed with assorted aphrodisiacs and my fatal good looks, I quickly embarked for London. Soon I was submerged in more flesh than Flo Ziegfeld ever imagined in his wildest fantasies, with Ursula Andress on my right, Joanua Pettet on my left, Barbara Bouchet on top of me and 24 girls beneath me, making the world's most electrifying blanket.
They were only a portion of the numbingly voluptuous women in Casino Royale—Killer Girls, Fang Girls, Guard Girls, Orgy Girls—but I dealt with each one as a master: now half mocking and aloof, now suddenly coy and roguish. Ursula was simple. She was an animal and I was an animal. I toyed with her, leading her off for the good of the picture and finally extracting from her a performance so stunning it compares favorably with my own. Joanna Pettet was a completely different problem. She saw me as a symbol of all men—the understanding father, the amusing little boy, the poet driven mad by a relentless passion. It was all I could do to keep Joanna from going over the line, hut I managed it. I tried to imply nothing in our on-screen kisses that would give her too much hope. Just enough to keep her looking forward to the next take. I was cruel in order to he kind. Of Barbara Bouchet, I will say nothing except that to this day I receive flowers from her now and again with a perfumed note that reads, "You made me feel like a woman for the first time. Thank you."
Finally, there were the 24 girls who were hired to guard the character I portray. It was hell. I resisted temptation like a preacher. The only time I slipped at all was with numbers 4 to 21, inclusive. But nobody is perfect. Certainly not those few of the movie's six directors who were unable to find roles for themselves amidst the lovelies: but Casino is at least two up on all other Bond extravaganzas: It boasts three 007s. Imperfect, too, I dare say, are the PLAYBOY editors, who begged me to act as an editorial consultant for the captions accompanying these 13 pages of pictures of my conquests—the girls of Casino Royale. You'll notice a certain flippancy in their treatment of my inside revelations, which they've subverted with a host of irrelevancies they call facts. There's only one reason I'm letting them get away with it: They’re giving me a free copy of the issue.
KILLER GIRLS Alexandra Bastida and Tracey Crisp, shown stripping David Niven— as Sir James Bond—and Angela Scaulor, sharing his sudsy tub, are three Britishers just beginning la be seen on the London cinema scene. As the daughter-accomplices of M, played by John Huston, they persuade Sir James out of retirement even as he drinks two of their number under the table (bottom right). Huston, who scripted and directed Casino s opening sequence, is shown hunching through its bathtub set (below center), worlds away from his portrayal of Noah in The Bible.
JOANNA PETTET, displayed in various states of uncoverage on the opening page, and at left and above, went from The Group to Casino Royale, plays Moto Bond, daughter of Moto Hari and Sir James Bond. Woody's comments on Casino s girls began with: "I'd hate to tell you where that Buddha has his hands, but you'll notice he's smiling."
URSULA ANDRESS, Casino's leading Bond-flick veteran (she was Dr. No's sea siren, Honeychile Rider), plays wealthy former spy Vesper Lynd, who is talked into teaming up with Sir James and Moto Bond. If Botticelli were alive today, " Woody claims, "he'd probably want to jump on Ursula like the rest of us."
FANG GIRLS—led by Britain's blonde Baker twins (shown above on either side of Orson Welles, Casino's evil Le Chiffre)—include Fiona Lewis, top right and center, who will soon appear in Roman Polonski's The Vampire Killers. Gunning for the Fang Girls at top left is an obviously high-caliber Ursula- whose emergence as filmdom's reigning sex queen was depicted in two PLAYBOY features. She Is Ursula Andress (June 1965) and Ursula (July 1966). Series of three top photos, according to Woody, provides the framework of a brilliant new panel show, in which blindfolded contestants would have to figure out by touch which girl is Ursula."
DREAM GIRLS appear when Welles torments Peter Sellers into fantasizing a surrealist beauty contest, above and below, as well as nostalgic visions, such as one at right of tramp-cops Geraldine Chaplin and Dick Talmadge, the segment's director. Woody says Ursula's answer to query What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? has "a sexistential eloquence.”
BARBARA BOUCHET plays Miss Moneypenny considerably sexier here than in previous Bond epics. She was the girl in the nude surf smooch with Hugh O'Brian in PLAYBOY's May 1965 feature The Kiss—Circa '65. At top right, she spoofs the opening Goldfinger scene by slipping out of diving gear to reveal flimsy formal attire, then accompanies Niven on a break into Le Chiffre's headquarters, right center, only to end in literal bondage herself. Woody insists that Barbara's "proud, defiant look," in the shot above, is a result of the fact that she had just had the privilege of sampling the Allen body— "I fell on her when somebody ripped off my pasties. Barbara later confessed to me that the incident filled her with precisely the same animal excitement one feels when shuffling a deck of cards."
GUARD GIRLS protecting the nasty Dr. Noah, one of Woody's two roles in Casino Royale, include the appealingly unguarded Samantha Jewell, adjusting Tony Burnett’s bracelet, above; Vanessa Sutton, left; and Marilyn Ricard and Jane Forster, below. At work, top left, is designer Poco Robonne, creator of the Guard Girls' wild plastic costumes. Woody asserts that "a miracle of make-up, a putty mammary, is shown above. This technique was also used on Anthony Quinn's nose in Lawrence of Arabia, the result being that Quinn's nose is constantly being fondled on subways."
Woody's galaxy of Guard Girls shown here represents only a fraction of the hundred-plus beauties who make up Casino's several good and evil girl gangs. Val Guest, one of the film's six directors, discovered most of the girls, reportedly under orders from producer Charles Feldman that there would be "no background dogs in Casino Royale." Marilyn Ricord, on Woody's left, and Jean Rolands, on his right, are among his guardian angels. You'll notice," Woody says, that Marilyn and Jean are pretty well backed up with reinforcements—they decided to assign me one Guard Girl for each part of my body. Most of them had never acted before, so I worked with them individually, often for into the night, to get a first-rate performance. Sometimes, making love to them was the only thing I could do to quell their jangled nerves. Bottom, Barbara Bouchet and Terence Cooper, Casino's third 007, effect on escape through a shattering barrage of Guard Girl fire.
ORGY GIRLS highlight Casino Royale's most satirical sequence, in which top-ranking officers of the world's armed forces bid in auction for Le Chiffre's still shots of a previous night of piece-keeping operations. Brightening the frame-up photos are Playmate-Bunny Dolly Read, below; London model Samantha Jewell, draped in grapes at bottom left; and Tony Burnett, bottom right, whose face is blocked from view but whose figure reveals her qualifications as England's leading nude model. Miss Burnett is the featured attraction of The Naked World of George Harrison Marx, a continuing smash at first-run London theaters.
Armed forces orgy takes a militant turn at the moment—caught in the shot at bottom right and projected on screen at upper left on facing page—when the generals discover that Le Chiffre has been making five-star stag films of their fun. In the center of the bocchonol, above, is Samantha Jewell, one of the tastiest morsels in Casino's surfeit of honeys. Animosities built up during the frantic bidding for the blackmail shots—in which the Oriental gentleman in bathtub bids 30,000,000 Chinese—are further aggravated when Moto Bond substitutes real war films for blue material. "I was technical director for the whole sequence," Woody notes, "calling on my vast experience as idea man in a French brothel. I contained myself magnificently during the shooting, although I must admit I still have a fair amount of Max Factor on my hands.
DALIAH LAVI portrays The Detainer, a special British spy whose function is to slow down the evil forces of the world by dalliance. Daliah starred in Lord Jim and The Silencers after an Israeli childhood and a teenage membership in the ballet company of Sweden's Royal Opera House. At top right, Daliah is effectively detained herself, on a table that exemplifies the wild imagination of Casino's chief production designer, Michael Stringer. Concerning these pictures. Woody chuckled and said. Look closely at the one above I am standing next to Daliah and am employing one of my oldest ruses, the fake arm. My apparently immobile left arm is not real. It is cloth stuffed with sawdust- My real arm is behind Daliah, engaged in a series of moves that would astound John Scarne. Note the expression an Daliah's face: She's loving it, although the whole episode did catch her a little off guard. After a while, I became known as the man around the production to look out for and was forced to abandon the cloth arm far more complicated fakery. On the right, I have Detainer Daliah strapped down with shiny aluminum bands and am searching desperately for a reflection.'
Goldfinger GIRLS—including London stage actress Anne Thompson, above, and Canadian model Greta Van Rentwyck, right—are discovered being gilded en masse in a special Casino studio when a concealing mirror is demolished during a 12-minute, million-dollar fight scene, providing gilt-edged evidence of producer Feldman's determination to top all previous Bond films in lovish zaniness. "Frankly, painting girls is not my scene," Woody told PLAYBOY, "although I must admit that I did crayon a waitress in lowa once —but there isn't much to do in lowa, and I was stuck there overnight. The girl in the photo below, by the way, is not a professional actress but one of the witnesses before the Warren Commission. This is how she appeared after the hearing —obviously having been finger-painted. The fact that she is not mentioned in the Report is the real factor in the drive to reopen the investigation."
Casino climax comes when Woody- now revealed to one and all as the supremely villainous Dr. Noah—accepts Daliah's offer of a nuclear pill, chokes on it and blows the whole Casino and everyone in it, including Ursula, below, out of this world. Swimsuited couple, above left, manages to carry on during wild finale, perhaps because Jennie LeFrie is England's leading stunt girl. Among the accouterments of the Casino-headquarters is a fake gaming table hiding a secret cache of weapons; underside of lid, top left, is an elaborate collage of PLAYBOY art and photos prepared especially far Casino Royale by artist LeRay Neiman. Woody insists, of course, that he is making love to Daliah again in the shot above right. "The discrepancy in our heights presented some problems, so I tried to secure the box that Alan Ladd used to stand on while making love to his leading ladies; unfortunately, I wound up instead with a deep box Gary Cooper kept around to play down his enormous stature. The result was much wasted footage, as I only came up to Daliah's thigh, in which I believe she still carries my two left molars. The shot below—which Sellers took with a Polaroid through Ursula's hotel window is final testimony, I think, to the power of the incredible Allen charms.
Heavenly curtain calls are allowed Barbara Bouchet, above, and film's other stars following Casino's climactic carnage. In a final PLAYBOY spoof, Terence Cooper reveals that—even in heaven— a Jomes Bond always will find fallen angels like Samantha Jewell. Woody tried to persuade us to say Samantha is really a member of the Teamsters Union in the world's greatest drag costume, but we decided to keep this final caption straight.
[Source: Playboy February 1967 P.109-121. Copyright © 1967 Playboy. All rights reserved.]